Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Life is a Blessing

                                     I am so excited to share in the birth of my nephew Michael Henry. He was born july 29th ,2008.
Life is a Blessing . 

Sunday, July 27, 2008

It is important to stay home and raise your own children

It is very important to not loose touch on what life is all about. 
It is important to stay home and raise your children. 

       Today Parents are on the go. Everybody wants to have a family . It just seems that nobody is willing to make some sacrifices in order to have a successful one. Family is more than just being a husband and wife and having children . You each have a career that is very successful. Or maybe you both need to work in order to pay the bills. Neither one of you are willing to comprise what you call your dreams. Putting aside that the true dream is to be that family.

   We rush , rush, rush to get  through the day to never sit down and spend time together. We forget the importance of teaching our children ourselves. When something goes wrong with your family or your children we tend to place the blame else where instead of looking in the mirror. 

   When are we going to take responsibility for our children . These children are our future. It scares me to think what is going to happen to the world if left in the hands of our children. Those children that thinks being a gangster is there big goal in life. Or the child that eats a candy and throws the wrapper on the floor . The child that in elementary school curses out his teacher in 3rd grade. Those children that are taught to hate. 

  Raise your child with love. Take the time to create them into amazing and caring humans. Remember you are instilling there habits for the future. Leave a good impression with your children and take good care of them. One day you might need them to take good care of you.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Lazy Parent Tool... Do You Use One?

  How many time do I come across a child with a pacifier  in there mouth and the child is 3 years old. At 3 do you think a child needs a baby pacifier? Of course not. It is the Lazy Parent Tool.
There is no reason what so ever to give a child a pacifier. Not when they are crying, not to sleep , not for fun. No reason except the parent is to lazy to address the issues properly.

I have 2 children . Neither one of my children had a pacifier. Guess what they survived . They learned a lot more with out the pacifier than if i had shoved on in their mouths. They learned how to calm themselves down. They learned how to put themselves to sleep. It wasn't a miracle either. A pacifier is a habit you create for your child. It is man made, Probably by a lazy parent.

A baby is given a pacifier . She is 8 months old. Today a girlfriend tells me she put extra pacifier in the crib. For what I wasn't sure. I asked her when was she going to teach her to sleep with out one. She said when she is a year old. Why wait that long i asked . She said it isn't fair to take it away. Fair to who. She is just instilling the habit .  I fell it isn't fair to have created a habit that you are going to take away when the child has grown used to it. 
Hey to each his own. If you choose to use the pacifier take it away before it becomes a habit. Books that i have read say 4 months is a good time to take away the pacifier . The baby hasn't created an attachment to the object yet. By that age the baby needs to start to learn to sooth themselves.
Remember , We didn't have kids to short cut them. Take the time to instill good habits. Bad habits start as soon as you teach them. 

Monday, July 21, 2008

Cursing in your Home: Does it affect your children

So many times i hear parents tell me that they curse at home ,but there kids know better than to repeat what they hear. Does it really affect who your children grow up to be? It sure does!

I grew up in a home that used racial slurs and curse words in abundance. Although my parents wouldn't see it that way ,that is exactly how it was. By the time I was 15 I had a mouth like a" trucker". I spoke to my parents with that mouth. Those are the same parents that said i knew better. When i got pregnant with my first child I used those nine months to retrain my self not to curse anymore. I am no saint I still slip up . I never slip up in front of my children. Their idea of a curse word is STUPID. I do explain when we go out to other peoples homes that they might hear adult words that they never heard before. I tell them there is no reason to ever have to express themselves using those words. 
I had a friend that has the foulest mouth around her kids. I had to tell her she needed to watch her mouth around my kids. She really didn't like that i asked that. My kids , i will do anything to protect them. Anyway ,she would curse towards her children as well.I know first hand that is damaging to the child for life. I told her your kids are going to end up with a mouth like yours. She said" MY KIDS WOULD NEVER TALK LIKE THAT" . Funny a year later I was on a school trip with her youngest and I heard her say that she know bad words. I asked her does she say them. She said when her parents aren't around.

You teach your children behavior. Language is part of that. They look up to you for everything. They copy everything you do. They are going to repeat what you say weather you like it or not! I starting smoking cigarettes at 10 years old. I would take my parents butts and light them up when they were out. I wanted to look cool like them. Here I am at 34 and everyday I struggle not to smoke one.    

Children follow by example:What kind of example to you give?                

Friday, July 18, 2008

How Do You Displine Your Children?

How do you discipline your children? Are you the type of parent that spanks your child? Do you just use TIME OUT? Is punishment an option?

I talk to different parents all the the time and I ask. I get mixed answers. It is not what they do that is interesting to me ,as much as why. I use punishment with my children. When they were younger it started as Time Outs. I started time outs with my kids as young as I would say a year and a half old. I decide that I would never put my hands on my children way before they were born.
I was disciplined with that type of parenting. All that did was create an angry child. I didn't learn anything but fear. Fear of my parents. I also learn that if I wanted to get someones attention or if someone wasn't doing what I wanted I could just hit them and they would listen. Really that doesn't go over to well with the person you are hitting.
I have a neighbor that uses her hands on her kids. We would walk to school with them in the morning. Her daughter was 4 at the time. On a regular basis she would smack her daughter in the back of the head. Hard enough that we can hear the sound of her hand meeting the head. It would make my kids so uncomfortable. They would ask me why? What did she do to deserve to hit like that? I told my kids just be thankful that I am not that kind of parent.

As I ask around I come to realize that there are few parents that don't use their hands on their children. That is pretty scary. Most of the parents say well that is how I was raised. Why does that make it right. I have 2 of the most amazing well behaved children. I treat them with respect I speak nicely to them . Sure I get frustrated with them. Sure it can get to the point I raise my voice. Even that I try to have more control of. It really is all about patience. I have to show discipline with my self. Everyday i make a promise to myself to carry the out most patience with my children. If I can display that with someone else children why wouldn't I do that for my own.

What is you reasoning for the way you discipline your children?

Friday, July 4, 2008

What are the laws on children abusing each other?

What are the Laws on Children Abusing each other?

Where is the line drawn for sibling fighting? When does the physically aggressive behavior become abusive?
Growing up in a home where spanking was normal lead us to believe that hitting was OK. But It wasn't OK. My brother and I took it to another level. I felt at time it was to out of control. It have given me strong feelings about hitting another person. That there are other ways to solve problems. I don't not put my hands on my children . They are not aloud to put their hand on each other nor is it tolerated in my home.
They are taught to talk it out. They are taught to respect themselves and each other.

How are children supposed to know how to deal when their parents are hitting them. You are just teaching them if people aren't doing what they like they can beat on them. I saw this first hand the last week of school at the park .There was a girl around 11 years old at the park with her maybe 4 year old brother. The little boy wet her with a water balloon. Well She grabbed him by his ponytail and swung him around. Just picture it really swinging him by his hair. I couldn't just watch. I lost it. I told her to get her hands off of him. She said" it is my brother and i can do what i want." Can you imagine what must go on in their house. I ask where are your parents . Out came another sibling maybe 14. She didn't do anything but try to keep the little boy away from the sister.

Are there laws on this matter? To me it was abuse . In a case like that do you call the police? Why was i the only parent to step up and stop it?

When is it time to wean off the bottle?

When is it time to wean your child off of the bottle? People all have a difference of opinion on this subject. The fact of the matter is there is an appropriate time. Bottle are meant for feeding. Feeding refers to food. When a baby gets a bottle you put Formula or Breast milk into a bottle. That is considered a baby's food.

OK so now that we have that established , we can move on. Once the baby moves up to other beverages we can put them into other drinking devices. such as sippy cups or sports bottles(for kids). So maybe by 6-7 months your child is drinking water. You put that into a cup. Still leaving the bottle for feeding. Not drinking. As you start to incorporate foods into the diet you will be giving less bottles.

By the age of 11 months would be the perfect time to put a stop to the bottle all together. That is the age when you would start to introduce another type of milk to your child. You would put that new milk into a cup . Maybe just have a special milk cup.That is what i did. Only milk when into those cups. By the time my kids were 1 year old they didn't even know what a bottle was.

Parents have to understand . You create habits for your children. Most of there bad habits are created out of pure laziness on the parents part. You feel bad for them they cry, it is easier to just give them the bottle. When the reality of it is they shouldn't even have it anymore. The longer you wait the harder it is on them .

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

God Parents , What does that mean?

What is the true meaning of a God parent? Have people lost sight of what it really means ? I am not sure myself. I thought it meant that you will teach and instill in the child religious beliefs. That is why most churches won't allow you to be a Godparent unless you are from the same faith.
When I had children I made my brother and his wife Godparents to them. But in the realm of life they are their legal guardians . It truly had nothing to do with religion. I guess because we don't practice one. I would just hope that when they spend time with them I know that they are instilling good morals.
Now it is my brother turn to be a parent . I asked him what religion is he raising his child. At the moment he is unsure. That is fine. I asked him what is his reasoning behind picking out a Godparent. I didn't want to take on the responsibility of that to his child if religion is involved. I do not have a not a religious family and don't want to take the responsibility to teach religion. I would love the opportunity to instill great morals and respect . So I told him if he was going to choose me it had to not be based on religion.
I also have a friend that is very dear to me. She had a little boy a year and a half ago. She cried to me telling me that she really wanted me to be her son's Godmother . The fact that her church wouldn't allow it was the reason behind it being someone else. Well , she hasn't been to church since. So didn't it really matter . She allowed a church that she doesn't attend to dictate what should be in her life. I always told her I never needed the title to be someone special in her family.
What is the reasoning behind who you pick? are Godparents important to you?

Sharing Toys at The Playground

I usually tell my kids don't bring anything to the park you don't want to share. There are times thought that they will bring something that they don't want to. I assure them that they don't have to share everything. Sharing Toys at The Playground isn't a given.

I am a very child friendly mother. I always pack extra things for the other kids to play with. I bring bubbles for my kids and extra for the others. That way nobody hounds my kids for their things. If I bring water balloons, I bring enough to share. It just bothers me the other parents don't think the same. The same kids are at the park all the time. They never bring anything with them. When they see me they expect me to have things for them to play with .

I really dislike when a kid helps themselves into my mommy bag. It is a mommy bag because that is what i had embroidered on it. That way there is no mistake . It is my bag. My children would never think to look in somebody else bag . Why don't parents teach their kids some park etiquette . Here are some park etiquette tips
  • Bring your kids some things to play with.
  • Teach them to ask before taking.
  • Don't let another parent be more involved with your kids than you.
  • Teach them not to go into someone else bag.
  • I guess manners would be a good idea. (that should be a given)
  • Bring your own snacks and drinks.
Hope this makes you think if you go to the park prepared .Or do you let your children burden someone else?